As I was writing the last post, I started thinking: If God is our husband, and we are to love him as though he has nothing to give us, shouldn’t we do the same for our earthly husbands and even other relationships?
What if we loved our husbands regardless of what they gave us in return?
As wives, homemakers, marriage team-mates, we want certain things from our hubbies. We deserve certain things. Our husbands are part of the Team and they need to participate. It’s only fair, it’s only right?
But what if we loved them without conditions, without worrying about what they bring to the table or how much effort they put in?
I think this would not only transform our marriages, but it would transform the world around us.
Wives, submit to your husbands as to the lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is he Saviour. Now, as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.
When we married we committed to a covenant. For better or worse, for richer or for poorer, until death do us part. I didn’t actually realize that marriage was a covenant until two years ago. It’s not a contract, but a covenant. Here’s the difference:
A contract is an agreement between parties saying that one party will provide a service if the other party provides a return service. An example of this is your phone company. They provide you with service as long as you provide them with payment.
A covenant is an agreement between parties where, regardless of what they receive in return, they will commit to keeping their end of the deal. Marriage is a covenant saying that, regardless of your husbands behavior, feelings, treatment, you will be his wife through it all. You have committed in covenant that you will be his wife, will love him entirely, until death do you part
Verses like Ephesians 5:22-24 hold us to that covenant by instructing us to be submissive to our husbands. It doesn’t say “If he behaves in a certain way”, it just says to be submissive because our husbands are the head of the family.
What if we worked on transforming our way of thinking, the pattern of thinking that our society has pounded us on the head with, the way of thinking that says “We deserve to be loved in return! We deserve to be shown affection, respect, adoration!”. What would happen if we started loving our husbands, submitting to them, even when it wasn’t convenient?
It would change the world.
It would reflect our relationship with God.
It would restore marriages.
It would transform our husbands.
It would make us lean on God like we have never leaned on him before!
Isn’t that the point of our lives? The point of marriage? To reflect God’s relationship with us to the world? To show the world that, regardless of our actions, our affections, God loves us and will continually invite us back into relationship with him. He will never give up on us, will never stop waiting for us to turn to him, will never give up on his commitment, his covenant, to us.
If we started loving our husbands and honoring the vows we made with them I believe that we would grow in depth, personally, but also spiritually. We would start to appreciate what God has done for us, the forgiveness he continually gives us, even when it doesn’t make sense at all. We are constantly turning our back on God, sinning in every way, but yet he always forgives us and wants us to return to him. We are constantly insulting God, telling him in different ways that he isn’t good enough for us, that we deserve better. But he still opens his arms to us and welcomes us home. We are constantly taking what God has given us and squandering it on meaningless pursuits…but God waits and watches for our return with eagerness.
When we look at our marriages as a reflection of Gods relationship with us, there should be no question in our mind that we need to love our husbands without conditions. It’s the point of marriage. This is when we realize that God is the inventor of marriage and it becomes more meaningful than just some signatures on a marriage certificate and a public display of commitment. And I believe that when we focus on our marriages having this purpose, divorce rates will go down, fulfillment in God alone will be more prominent in our Christian circles, and the world will see who our God really is and they will crave that same relationship with our Savior.