Spiritual Marriage

Marriage is just a piece of paper and some meaningful words in front of loved ones. Marriage is standing in front of a group of people, quoting antique vows, and praying you’ll make it through the rough patches. Marriage is a government institute.

It’s no wonder so many marriage, even in the Christian community, fail. We have completely forgotten (or have we ignored?) the spiritual aspect of the marriage covenant.

Have we forgotten that God is the inventor of marriage and therefore HE defines it, not our government or our communities?

Why bother getting married, when we can just live together and become Common-law without the expense of a wedding?

Marriage, in our society, has become nothing more than the wedding. We have lost the fact, not just the theory but the fact, that it is a spiritual binding of spouses to each other, committed to for life through covenant before the Creator of the Earth. Marriage isn’t just a piece of paper that makes taxes or bills or banking or child-bearing easier. Marriage is spiritual bondage.

When you commit to marriage, you are committing “until death do you part” to your initial spouse. When you attempt to break that commitment – because we as humans think we are powerful enough to break something in the spiritual realm – it causes pain, multiple marriage, divorces, restless spirits, destructive sin… A feeling of lack of control. That piece of your spirit that keeps telling you “It doesn’t make sense!” even when it doesn’t make sense that it doesn’t make sense.

We need to start bringing the ‘spirituality’ and the ‘covenant’ back into marriage. Those are two words I never heard related to marriage before I leapt into that relationship. They’re words that need to be explored and applied to marriage. They’re words that need to be taught to our kids. They’re words that need to be taken extremely seriously.

Why do you think we have so many unhappily married people around us? Why do you think that so many people are struggling? Because we have grown into largely viewing marriage as a relationship and nothing more. Just two people who spent lots of money, wore a suite and a dress, and had a great day with their friends.

As the ‘friends’ we have forgotten that the wedding is a solemn ceremony. We’re more focused on our outfits that day or the caterer or the white dress or the decorations. Or thinking of the happily every after we think we’re watching in front of us.

Yes, the wedding is beautiful, the emotions are wonderful, and we are so thrilled our friends have found each other. There’s nothing wrong with this, celebration is necessary! But before we start to think that this is what the day revolves around. Stop. Pray. Realize the seriousness of this commitment. Think of the reality of the God they are standing before.

Bring the spirituality back into the vows that are being said.

God Himself is listening. God Himself is hearing “until death do we part” and God Himself is holding the couple to that covenant.

Until death will my commitment to your marriage be. Until death will I, as your friend, fight for your marriage. Until death will I hold you to your spouse. Through sickness and health, for better or worse, I will encourage you in your covenant to your spouse. Until death.

If marriage is just a piece of paper. If marriage is just something our government defines. If marriage is just a beautiful wedding. It’s no wonder it’s so easy for all of us to give up on.

But if marriage is a covenant, the only way it can be broken is by death. If marriage is a spiritual binding, only God can decide when it’s broken. If marriage is more than just something we do here on our temporary earth, but is also a spiritual event, it is so much bigger than we have been taught.

Dead No More

Have you ever been running towards something, feeling like you’re chasing the dream you’re meant to have, but feeling dead inside? Something just isn’t right. Your heart tells you it’s what you need to do, what you need to have, but there’s a tiny bit inside you that is cringing and you’re not sure why. A few years ago I started running from my marriage. It seemed like the only option for me at the time, the only way out of the drowning feeling I was overcome with. I moved to a new city several hours away and started my own life, pursuing the things that I ‘knew’ would make me happy. By the time two years had passed, I had achieved everything I thought I wanted. But still…something…something was wrong. I felt dead inside. I felt like I wasn’t achieving anything, like my life didn’t have purpose, like I was an empty shell. I had what the world was telling me I needed but I wasn’t satisfied.

As for you, you were dead in your transgressions and sins… Ephesians 2:1

Through my sins, the multitude of them, I had died. My soul was shriveled and lifeless, even if my body seemed vibrant to those around me. The meaningful part of me, the true Katie, had passed away leaving a wandering and lost shadow of who I had been. God knew though. He was watching and waiting for when the time was right. When I was ready, he opened my eyes and made me see the mess I had left in my wake. Even though I had destroyed my life, he has helped me in the last two years to heal and grow and become a woman that is an even better version of what I was before. He has made me alive again, passionate, enthusiastic, full to the brim of purpose in him. Lately, there has been overwhelming temptation to go back to certain aspects of my previous life. It has been so hard to remember that, even though some of God’s promises have yet to be fulfilled, I am where I should be. Satan has been reminding me of the ‘fun’ I had before and that I am ‘missing out’ on it now. But if I truly believe in the Bible, I should truly believe that I was “dead in my transgressions”. When God took me back and opened my eyes, I felt a physical reaction. I could see clearer, I could hear clearer…it was as if I had stepped out of a fog. So why would I go back to being dead? Why would I purposely and intentionally deny the death I felt then and the life I feel now just for a temporary fix? Temptation does that, it pulls you into a lifestyle that seems fun and exciting or maybe even safe, only to actually kill you slowly and turn you into a hollow version of what you once were. Sometimes temptation makes sense. Sometimes Satan dresses like an angel, a rescuer, that seems like it will pull you out of the mess you’re in. Sometimes people you trust encourage you in the temptation. I believe that we know. Even when we say we haven’t heard from God, we know what he wants us to do. It might not be a huge, bellowing voice, it might just be an unsettled feeling in our spirit, but we know what God really wants from us. And going in another direction, is never worth it. We have to decide. What are you following? Who are you listening to? Who are you obeying? And I’ll be honest. At this point, I am grudgingly being obedient. The temptation seems much more fun and actual makes sense to most people around me. But the point of my life isn’t to make sense to the people around me. It’s to glorify God and to live a life worthy of my calling. By God’s strength, not my own, I refuse to be dead any longer. I refuse to believe the lies, I refuse to deny the full life that God has placed in front of me. So help me God, I will wait for his promises.

It Is Well

“Even so, it is well with my soul.”

Are you able to say this? When you’re in a rough patch, when God isn’t answering your prayers like you thought he would, when life isn’t going smoothly, when you feel like you’re just plowing through…Are you able to say, are you able to remember to say, “Even so, it is well with my soul”?

I’m at a point right now where the struggle seems uphill, in waist high in mud, with little to no relief in sight. I’m feeling like I’ve been called to do something that seems absolutely impossible, that God is holding me to, but my heart is weak. I feel like I’m pushing forward out of obedience, but that is all. Do you ever get like that?

I know this is a stage, a season that will pass and will flow into a place where I feel more heartfelt in what I’m asked to do. But it’s hard going through these places! It’s hard fully relying on God out of blind faith when everything around you is telling you to do something different.

It’s in these places, though, that we need to stubbornly say “Even so, it is well with my soul.” Even when I don’t feel like it, God’s will is well with my soul. Even when it doesn’t make any sense, God’s commands are well with my soul. Even though I can’t see it, God’s plan is well with my soul.

I truly believe that God will bless our obedience in times like these. He hasn’t asked us to take leaps of faith only when it makes sense, he’s just asked us to follow him. So when we do take that leap of faith when it doesn’t make sense, we are saying that we believe that God is real, and that he is all that matters.

By pushing through, past the emotions, past the limited view we have of our lives, and obeying God, we are opening the door for miracles. We are allowing God space to move where we otherwise would have filled the space with our nearsighted plans. We are acknowledging that God has ultimate control as well as acknowledging that we trust him to use that control.

We are proving that we believe the truth of the Bible.

So I am pushing forward. I know that this will pass, that God is working at destroying my mountain and one day I will see what the point of this strain was. And in the meantime I will stubbornly say “Even so, it is well with my soul”.

God is not human, that he should lie, not a human being, that he should change his mind. Does he speak and then not act? Does he promise and not fulfill?

Numbers 23:19