Last night I started watching a Priscilla Shirer sermon. She was at Hillsong in Australia and as I watched the amount of people listening to her, I prayed that God would allow me to share my story with that many people.

That is my dream. To speak to people about my story, to share it and what God has and is doing in my life, to a group of people. I believe that God is calling me to a ministry like this and it excites me to be able to share what he has shown me to that many people!

But as Priscilla is sharing, she points out that in John 11, when the Passover occurs, Jesus doesn’t attend. Instead, he goes to Bethany to be with Lazarus, Mary and Martha. Three simple people, three close friends. And then I realize that that’s it. That’s the point. It doesn’t matter how many people are listening to me, the point is to have Jesus present. The point is for me to testify to Jesus’ love and God’s power moving in my life. The point is not the amount of people listening but the presence of my God moving.

My prayer shouldn’t be that I get to speak in front of a large crowd. My prayer should be that I get to share God with everyone around me.

The point of my ministry is to expose people to God and his power and love. Not to gain attention for myself. I want people to see God work though me, I want them to see how he still answers prayer, how he still performs miracles, how he still speaks to us through dreams…Through my story, I want people to experience God!

In the past six months I have really learned to step aside for God and allow him to work in and through and around me. He has shown me a glimpse of how big he really is and how much I used to put him in a box.

I used to think that God would work around how I planned my life. That I would make the steps to develop myself into the person I wanted to be and God would work with that. Now I have realized that I have no control over what happens in my life, that whenever I do something that isn’t in God’s will, he makes it a struggle. He may allow it, but it won’t result in the rewards that I envisioned or the feeling of satisfaction that I had hoped for. When I am outside of God’s will, it feels as though I am trying to run in waist high water. I can move forward but I’m pushing against a current.

When I step to the side and allow God to conduct the plans, even though something may not happen in the timing or way I imagined, it happens easier. It flows. And because it’s done in God’s way, the end result is much more fulfilling. Not only that, but along the way I have felt his close presence and learned so much about him and that in itself is SO worth it!

I am a steward of God. Steward, by definition, means “A person who administers the property, house, finances, etc. of another”. What I have is not my own therefore I need to take instructions in how to manage it from the owner. God has entrusted me with my life and everything in it.

…As it is, you do not belong to the world…

John 15:19

I now know that I need to work with God in control and I am on the sidelines. He takes the reins, he leads.

This doesn’t mean that I wait for him to speak before doing anything at all, but present my requests to God (Philippians 4:6) and then wait for his instructions. God is the boss, I am just a servant looking after his belongings. If and when he wants me to move in a certain direction, he will provide the answer and the way.

When God is in control he will have the glory. The impossible will become possible and all the credit will go to him! If I am meant to speak in front of crowds to bring God glory he will smooth out the road towards those opportunities. Until then, I feel so blessed to be able to share him with the people he puts around me. This is what I’m meant to be doing, this is where I am meant to be.



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